choices

today I had to choose my preferences for university.

so I had a huge dillema, I either do commerce at UNSW or USyd along with my PWC cadetship.

now I wanted to go to University of Sydney but 99.95% of my friends are going to UNSW. So I'm probably going to go with UNSW. But actually I think ill just apply for scholarships and see if I get any then just go with whichever uni gives me one.

Inb4 I get scholarships from both unis and im back at square one

LOL jk no scholarship for me

TAFE Open day?

also lol at my friend; UWS = U Went Shit LOLOLOL laughed so hard but so dog.

so career plan, TAFE then transfer to UWS? haha oh English. speaking of English, I HALVED MY RANK. YEAH BOY

also lol so my troll exam hitory extension actuallly got me 92%...damn now I can't drop it lol

embarrassed!

today might have been the most embarrassing day eveeerrrrrr.

first of all, in period 1 we got English back. REALLY HAPPY WITH MY ENGLISH MARKS! although quite a few people did get higher than me including my close friends, I was happy. I've come a LONG way since half yearlies. I've increased my English marks dramatically. I owe it to actually giving a crap about English and Meena. I remember I did not study an IOTA for half yearly, got destroyed. memorised an essay for each module/section in trial, did way better. I don't know why teachers say don't memorise essays, it helps heaps.

PERIOD 2. Skipped drama. "shake it shake it shake it like a polaroid picture!" (this was to later haunt me in the day) Basically I chucked this polaroid of me and T into my wallet, #YOLOswag

PERIOD 3: maths, not much.

PERIOD 4: MRS MAKKAR LEGIT WRESTLED ME FOR MY WALLET AND SHE'S ACTUALLY STRONG.  she managed to win and she saw the polaroid and so did the rest of the class. how embarassing.... H.Y. IF YOU ARE READING THIS I AM BRINGING CHAINSAW TO SCHOOL TOMORROW TO KILL YOU. jokes ily <3 <3 <3

PERIOD 5: boring

PERIOD 6: boring + got some attitude from this pretty arrogant girl who seems to hate me for no real reason

and then on the bus home, if you remember what I said earlier in my blog....I put the polariod in my bus pass compartment of my wallet. SO on the bus today, instead of showing my bus pass I shoewed the driver the....

yeah you guessed it. so embarassing. he's like "bus pass please" so I show him again, and then he's like "thats not your bus pass" and I look down and I realise and im like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

shake it like a polaroid picture.

maateeeeeee.

#YOLOswag. gonna become a thing. trust me on this one.

anyway so I got told off REALLLLLY bad by one of my favourite teachers today. I think she hates me now. I think i'll buy her chocolates with a sorry card, although that sounds materialistic. oh man she owned me so hard and I don't want to end school on bad terms with any teachers.

anyway on a better note FINALLY got modern back and I did pretty good. not great but good. I got the same as half yearly so no imrpovement :( whilst everyone mostly improved.

great defence in footy today. haha I think we gave up on life.

and I have this friend, who legit has 5000000000000000000x10^100000000 guys after her legit.
she has options in life. :P

haven't blogged for a while but here I am! miss me?

and today was my first actual HSC external exam, my drama performances. They went pretty good actually, imo better than trials. but who knows, I won't get any marks back. except for the final scaled marks in december which is ages away.

anyway this weekend I enjoyed party time!

let's talk about saturday. USYD! such a beautiful campus! honestly if nothing else I would go to USYD because of its amazing campus. then I went to eat mexican with a friend and dat shit get expensive man. but it tasted good.

and then missing our stop and having to double back! *facepalm* and walking through a deserted suburb in the middle of nowhere legit..........haha friends that complain all the time x)

but the party was good! it was so different to a "W.O.M.S" party though but still was pretty cool.

and my school laptops been unlocked. games in english :D

100th post

My 100th post and it shall be a happy one. I'm just happy that I got to 100!

yesterday was winter vibes and film fest.

FILM FEST:

- awesome year 12 videos
- not many other videos though
- THIS SUPER GOOD BEAT BOXER CALLED GENESIS. He is SO GOOD! legit he beatboxed for 20 minutes straight he must have infinite lung capacity and he didn't even get thirsty so as Prav said he must have a camels hump or something. look him up on youtube, he's from Australias Got Talent I think!

WINTER VIBES:

- it went off!
- all my friends came (well 95% of them) and most of year 12 came which was great!
- although people complained, the music was pretty good and I GOT TO RAP MY FAVOURITE SONG! (you all should know what that is)
- check out DJ Diya if you need a DJ

and today;

MULTICULTURAL DAY!

- best MC day ever
- spent my day mostly with OH (nope, not an alcohol group for dem chem nerds) and had great fun
- BAILA!!!! dudes so many people got involved it was soooo good.
- then the best part, TALENT QUEST! I was the MC with kanav and I think we did a pretty good job (hopefully)
- COLA BOYS DANCE OMG SOOOOOO AWESOME! seriously never been prouder to be a COLA BOY! ahhhh


tomorrow is USYD then party then another party so big day.

PHOTOS

VIDEO:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8E2S2Jgi2E

first of all, a girl in my grade is currently driving an SLK series mercedes BENZ convertible. SO JELLY PLEASE GOD REWARD MY LIFE WITH A MERC SOON ASAP PLS TY TY

anyhow, theres this new craze in town and it's called "BAILA" and its basically freshie/fob dancing.

there are distinctive moves and the best one is "cross the galle road" (bus is coming)

lol serious my friend hasi does it the best, his emotion on his face is so funny.

anyway today I went to baulkham hills high for their prefects afternoon tea and it was good! but not as good as ours. but they gave free subway! that was cool! and it felt like I was a dumbass, in a room filled with baulko kids and ruse kids who are all 99.95rs/state rankers then theres me whos failing every damn exam.

and raj and his "bushfire"

and TOMORROW IS WINTER VIBES, SO DARN EXCITED.

and so today I did something that probably makes me a bad person but it felt good. no, i did not kill anyone or even touch anyone.

but today was a shit day. things got ripped to shreds right from the start and didn't get better. honestly this week isn't going at all to plan and you know that's never a good sign for the rest of the week. considering its school spirit week, not good.

but the rest of the week is going to be so fun!

tomorrow: baulkham hills prefects afternoon tea
thursday: winter vibes
friday: MC day
saturday: USYD open day + 18th

and I was supposed to go to step up 4 today to but that got cancelled, so yeah nothings going good this week.

inb4 DJ falls sick for vibes, inb4 I get impaled on a flag on MC day, inb4 I get mugged at redfern on saturday.

Interesting concept of Greek mythology.

So apparently the seasons are dictated by the wife of Hades, Persephone.  (Queen of the dead)

she was cursed to spend half the time with Hades in the underworld and half the time in the overworld /mount Olympus.

Spring is the time when she returns to the world of mortals, and that's why bloom and stuff.

When she has to go back to the underworld the life of plants die etc.

Who says you can't learn anything from PlayStation? God of War baby.

And return to classes tomorrow. And we're going to get our marks back and realise we have no job prospects.

so my friends, the finishing of trials has meant that now thinking of the future has more importance, with UAC applications starting to be filled.

now, today I spent my whole day on the computer doing nothing, and then watching 2 games of footy. and this is the good life my friends.

also, I got really worked up about something that I feel was taken away from me but that's for another time and not for a blog.

i love you all my readers

Yeah first post trial party!!! And trials are over!!!

Not a big deal cause real trials are no biggie. Not the end of the world and if I fail all my exams then so be it.

And tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and just hit the PlayStation all day everyday.

Good times, let them roll.

Ps;  some idiots never learn

exams are NEARLY over, and yeah ready to party from tomorrow!

I want to finish memorising this essay before the footy show, so short blog post today chaps. good-day!

back

feel good to be home!

and now all my main trials are done! HELL YEAH GET THE PARTY STARTED.

parties start from friday. SO EXCITEEEEEDDDD.

and jeeeeeez man I feel so happy at the moment, I just got this massive smile on my face, I don't even know why. little things make me happy. that's a good thing!

I JUST WANT TO SCREAM IN HAPPINESS! damn if I had a webcam I'd take a photo of my huge smile and show you all i aint even kidding.

ahhhh life. life is great

nearly there

so I got one more "proper" exam this week which is tomorrow, which I gotta nail. then two important exams next week, but easier because two easyish essays and a performance.

and I had a dream today...let's see.

I was playing footy, when all of a sudden a random guy in a cloak and threatened to blow up the school if I lost to him in a game of yu gi oh

and I had to duel him, over the fate of the school. and I had random cards based on people in the school like  .... speed of kevin (allows two attacks a turn) and eyes of asia (allows you to see the next card you draw)...i dunno lol

anyway, he thought I wasn't duelling seriously enough so he killed a random girl from our school. and so then I summoned the winged dragon of  raj (legit, raj...) and wooped his ass.

and then he vanished and i became the school hero.

eshayz.

hot and dangerous

and the olympics are now over...
and another 4 years to go till the next ones. let's see where will I be in 4 years....

2013: uni
2014: uni
2015: uni
2016: uni

and I might have the money to actually hike myself to Rio to watch the games....who knows! haha it'll be good to have some money in the bank. but first gotta buy a merc or a beemer hehehe

in less than 48 hours ill be chilling, illing and killing (it). bought my winter vibes ticket today! aww yeah ready to party. haven't danced like a spastic in ages, time to get the fist pump going. which reminds me of the formal...sounds juicy. should be good.

hot and dangerous (what song is that again? think it's ke$ha)

Ixtoc Oil Spills 1979.

from the heart

this shall be a long, philosophical post.

when breathing increases at a rate of k and Be0 is a constant blah blah blah, find the value of x that produces a calm heart-rate of 75.

x = happiness

and yeah while that was corny, it's true. damn I should write scripts for final fantasy haha.

but this is the truth, in one way you're a hero, in one way you've achieved nothing.

think of it this way; there are two sides of the spectrum - yet the extremes are untouchable. you can never be the best, nor can you ever be the worst. and that's kind of comforting and it makes us human.

and then; although we mock the script writing of games like final fantasy, the things they produce are so true;

vanille: " When I couldn't see a future and I was afraid. When the future was clear and it hurt to see, I'd just close my eyes and lose myself in happier days."

Vanille: (narration) "It's easy to lose sight of things in a world as wide as this one, but if you keep going you are sure to find what you are looking for sooner or later."

Lightning: "It's not a question of can or can't. There are some things in life you just do."

Hope: "Sometimes everything you know in the world turns out to be a lie. But at the end of the day the lie isn't what matters, it's what you do after you tell it. If you work hard enough you can make it true."

Orphan: "Men dream, aspire, and through indomitable force of will, achieve the impossible. Your power is beyond measure."

Being corny actually makes you happy. It makes you chuckle when things aren't going your way. And people talk about clichés and say they're overused like "don't give up" - but why are they overused? because they hold the same meaning to everyone. because no matter what you're trying to achieve, "don't give up" is the best mentality. (I can't testify to the same, because I've given up on 3unit tomorrow and am giving the exam an almighty wing)

and whilst there is failure, you can't be human without it. not because "everyone makes mistakes" but how do you know if something is a success? because of one reason, to know success, you need to know failure. if you haven't failed, then you can't succeed because you can't tell if it's successful if you don't know what the alternative is. and yeah, this only really applies for when a person ventures out in the unknown, but its the fundamental basis for everything.

and many of you will laugh whilst reading this, but I can say these things because I believe in it. and maybe it's just an excuse for my failures, but who knows. 

there is only ever one end, the rest are simply beginnings. and it is our goal to keep reviving ourselves until we reach that final end and in many ways; true success in life is getting to that end and not regretting anything. 

and I read many articles about the "top 10 moments of the Olympics" and they're all similar, the gold medals, the Olympic ceremony, usain bolt going 3 from 3. but the most memorable moments for me are three things;

1. athletes waiting behind for a Filipino runner in one of the long distance races who could simply not keep up and finished a good time after the rest of them, and at the end they all celebrated as equals. 

2. same thing happened with a Palestinian runner in the 800m for the women's race

3. an African and a white man hugging in total embrace after their race. (I didn't see this live but in a prelude to an ad break and it made me smile, kind of reminded me of rono and ben tbh.)

of course the gold medals are great moments, but these are the moments where you feel proud to be a human being. because these are the moments that restore your faith in humanity. because these are the moments that show human equality and the best values we can possess.

I read in a friends blog something along the lines of "I wonder why people bother competing when they know they won't get a medal."

whilst many athletes desire the medal, being at an Olympics means just as much if not more. because it shows that they have overcome all adversaries just to be there. because it shows that they kept going. because it shows that they have devoted their lives to something they love. and mostly; because it shows that people can be fulfilled without being the "best" but by being champions to themselves. THAT is what the Olympics is about, not about medals or medal tallies. There was an Australia athlete in the womens triathlon, she won a bronze medal at Beijing I think, Emma Moffatt, and she pulled out of the race because she fell of her bike. Yet in the following interview she said to the question; "how do you handle such disappointment?" that "although I feel disappointed now I feel rejoiced just to be here and that although I didn't win today doesn't end anything and I will pick myself up and work even harder for the rest of the season." And in this moment I said to my dad; "this girl is a true champion, and this should be televised multiple times in Australia" because I would rather see this than a girl contemplating retiring due to not winning as many medals as last time. (We all know who I'm talking about)  The athletes that chuck a dummy spit because they didn't win a medal are the true weak ones; not the ones who have dropped out of a marathon due to exhaustion. 

and to be honest; being at the Olympics means you've qualified to the greatest sports event in the world. (Other than State of Origin of course haha)

So; that is why you compete even though you know you can't win a medal. and let's not forget bradbury; who won a truly inspirational gold, no one expected him too, and he knew he couldn't either, but he did. and although people call it a fluke; once you're at that level nothing is a fluke. you dedicate your life to it; and that is what counts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAADWfJO2qM&feature=related (watch this, it is truly good stuff) [the bradbury gold medal where he is last the whole race but wins in the last 3 seconds]

and if you're still here reading this, then you're a champion too. :)

erm what to blog about today?

this time next week I'll be in (almost) party mode for a week or two? and next week is school spirit week! it'll be so good, got some surprises for everyone. not really actually. organisation has been poor. my bad, lll take the blame for that, i've been lazy this time around.

and multicultural day! will we see the return of wahabzadahs tabouli and chips?! haha probably not. it was a good legacy though. but if it does come back...the advertising shall return. hopefully. actually let me text hasi about that now.

wahabzadahs was definitely the best ever stall to grace, or will ever grace, multicultural day. also, I found my pikachu watch! it's so cute! too bad it doesn't work though. annnnnnnnnnd...

THE EELS WON!!!!!!

happy :) always happy when hindmarsh is happy, and he scored a try and has an assist today, making me more happy! always gotta be happy :)

omg.....

so I was trekking through the internet as I was doing some school work when I came across my year 7 youtube video where I was singing an ABBA parody whilst Barry Hall punched people

OVER 10K VIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy shit lol, and all the comments are death threats to me cause of my voice LOOOOL.

youtube "bradfatler" and you'll see the video (you need to log in with an account thats over 18 years old cause it got flagged down by the community lol)

anyway I want a mercedes benz. or a bmw z4. but i'm poor.

feeling a little better! yay

but in a moral dilemma.
I should have already done my mathematics and english exams. and when I got sick I should have been prepared for them anyway. therefore should I still study for them? or is that giving me an unfair advantage.

although i've already memorised my English essays...so if I don't go over them, ill forget them by next week (assuming I sit the exams next week)

I go through random bursts of happiness here and there. I don't even know why. going to go to hindys last game on the 2nd of September! it'll be good. maybe Ill make a farewell hindy poster.

anyone want to come USYD and UNSW open days with me? usyd: 25th august  unsw: 1st september

Go for gold Australia!

In the meantime, I'm dying here

I am so bad at multiple choice. and calculations. and chemistry all together.
and I'm even worse at English

goodbye, ATAR.

okay so another day, another day of study. and chemistry tomorrow.

i've got that feeling, you know when you've prepared but you still think you'll fail? and I still suck at Multiple choice and calculations.

oh well have a few hours before bed time to work on it.
come on let your light shine upon me now

Hades: Hey, it's like that old goat says: Rule 11: It's all just a game, so let loose and have fun with it! I mean, a casualty or two along the way is no big deal, right? 

trial free zone is over, now I can talk about trials

1. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I've had 2 already and a third on monday.

reflection:
drama: good but crap compared to class
modern: honestly could be anywhere from 80-100 got no idea. hopefully closer to the high end.

chemistry on monday; screwed. studied all day for it and still feel like I'm going to fail. gahhhh. seriously how do people study all day every day. the longer I study the more destructive personality I get, maybe cause I don't belong. omggggg english kill meh

okay screw trials. lets focus on good things again.

like; this time next week I'll be a lot more relaxed. this time in two weeks and ill be coming around the mountain when she comes (whatever that means)

ahhh jeez last day of the *trial free zone*

hmm..........let me just then fill my blog with emotions I have been feeling - hang on, happiness zone so only positive emotions

okay...
- happiness
- contentment
- resolve
- love
- i dunno what emotion this is but basically accepting that the future will hold greater things

so my friends said today I had "yellow fever" and so anyway...being the bored bugger I am I decided to look it up on google, and my search took me to urban dictionary.

new plan: after trials spend whole days on urban dictionary. the definitions are funny, and the examples are even MORE HILARIOUS.

eg..
Fevered: dude, I wanna tap Trang! 
Friend: are you kidding me? She’s missing half her teeth and is built like a 12 year old boy! Plus she barely speaks English! man! You’ve got yellow fever!


I LOLLED SO HARD.

this is hell, and I am the devil. but you may call me toby if you like; I like to keep things informal...as well as infernal.

and today was a drag. days without school are a drag. but tonight was very fun, but must end early for tomorrow. remember, happiness zone lasts another few days so still happy :)

let's see what was happy about today?

oh yes, getting texts/other messages from friends who are wishing you luck for a performance. it's amazing what a little acknowledgement can do for a persons mouth muscles. if thats such a thing. and after tomorrow; weekend! and also, red ties look good with a black suit in my opinion. and apparently my mum is really good with drama make up!

oh and my dad has this really cool watch. I want a cool watch!

HAPPINESS

today was the happiest day this week! staying positive in blogs seems to be working....

and I started the day well, and then the best part was lunch. all of year 12 got together for the BBQ and had the most fun. we got all the boys and played some great FULL FIELD FOOTY whilst most other groups sat around doing nooothhhhingggg. those poor buggas.

I just realised how much I love school. Up until this year I used to try chuck in random days away from school. but now, even when im not feeling well, I HAVE TO COME. I love it! I think my attendance is 100% - a testament to that fact. honestly, i love all my subjects. I used to dislike maths, but thats changed. I used to dislike history extension, that (edit; hasnt) changed. I used to hate waking up in the morning but thats changed too!

I'm going to miss it all.  gahhhh! but so happy! feel so bubbly! "insert colbie caillat lyrics*

and during a dinner break, watching the womens paired rowing final where britain won gold and australia silver with NZ bronze, just the pure happiness on their faces, especially britain. made me smile too, and widely. and even get teary!

it's amazing how one person can change your life for the better in such magnitude.